The shorter story, no love, no glory.

I'm riding high on the last time you sent your words in my direction and I'm letting confusion get the best of me.
I'm going to quote a friend here; "Kate... You're the girl who wants nothing but everything." Yeah, it's paradoxical, but I guess we all are. And as much as I hate to admit it, she's right. Example; right now, I'm waiting on the only boy who's ever made me feel remotely close to this way before,... and, wait, let me interrupt myself. There are two things dramatically wrong with that sentence, one being that I just said that I was waiting for a boy, and the second is that I just admitted feeling something more than... sexual attraction for someone. Which, I'm sorry, but I just don't allow that, life is easier to get through if you don't let yourself become attached or even accustomed to any one person.
If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's the people who claim to love you who leave first.

What about the way I have to restrain myself from saying "I love you" when he says goodbye? Because I'm a fool and I'm naive and jaded all at once, but I know that I've never been in love and I know that even I don't love him. So what is it when you want to tell them you do but don't? Madeleine suggested that it's a love spell. If only.

My mom ripped into me again last night. This time because I dared bring up something that wasn't about her sore back. She gave me a tequila shot last night and I refused it, and she called me a prude, which was annoying because at least I wasn't the one falling on their ass drunk. She was hammered when she was supposed to get me from work, and sent someone in her place. Then the tequila fight ensued.

My boss and her boyfriend very loudly, scarily, and publicly broke up in La Senza last night. I'm terrified of him as it is, re: the threesome incident (which never actually happened, more of a proposition than an accident I guess...) and his creepy text messages, and I was the only other person in the store. My boss cried, which unnerved me because she isn't a crier at all, and so I bought her a pair of pajamas and wrapped them up and wrote her a note and closed the store.

Wow. That was a long interruption. I was talking about how he's coming down to see me this weekend and how it's really upsetting me and thrilling me all at the same time. But then of course, complications always ensue. This time it's me doubting my feelings for someone else. And I swear to god if any of you say "I told you so," I may have to kick some major ass.

One more topic I have to address: My mom (again).
I'm really scared I'll end up exactly like her.