iF THE HEART RiPS, THEN TEAR iT.

It's happened a lot. Someone will say "What are you so afraid of?"
Funny you should ask.
I'm afraid of getting my heart broken. I'm afraid of spending another two years wishing and building up hopes and then just breaking again. I'm afraid that if I let myself fall as hard as I did that one time, I'll never get out of it. The three words that sum up that entire two years are FONDLE FUCK FORGIVE. Of course, the forgiving was always on my side. I'm afraid of sleepless summer nights where you spill your heart out because that's when attatchment comes in. I'm afraid of sleeping in because oversleeping makes you emotional. I'm afraid of losing you again and at the same time I'm afraid that I never will lose you again. I'm afraid of tornadoes and big dogs, and I'm afraid of lying and I'm afraid of telling the truth.
I'm afraid of never amounting to anything but I'm afraid of being the one person everyone looks up to. I'm afraid of losing everything I've worked so hard to achieve and I'm afraid of always having it.
I'm afraid of tommorow.
I'm afraid of dying my hair and I don't want to go to that New Year's Eve party because I'm afraid that I don't have enough self control, especially if he's there.
I'm scared of being drunk and I'm afraid of being sober. I'm afraid of getting high but I'm scared that I'll never smoke again. I'm scared of failure and I'm scared of succeeding.
I'm scared of kissing. I'm scared I'll never kiss again.

Ask me again what I'm scared of.

I'm afraid of you.