The rain falls angry on the tin roof as we lie awake in my bed.

Realizing that you aren't the only person who knows what it feels like. It makes me feel so selfish. I feel like I've been so absorbed in my own abusive household that I never lifted my goddamn head and looked around me to see others in so much pain. And so close to me too.
I'm so sorry for not seeing it sooner. I'm so, so sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me and maybe we can be the way we used to.

I'm sitting in my bed crying, listening to "I'll Be" on repeat, I've just learned so many shocking things in the past fifteen minutes. I feel so sorry for everyone I've ignored because I'm so absorbed in myself and my own dramas.

Some things I don't feel guilty about at all. Like, the fact that apparently I can't trust most of my high school friends. There's maybe three out of all of them that I feel comfortable telling things to and two of them are in Australia, so, there you go. Thanks for being radios, guys, at the one time I needed you to please just be quiet and listen instead of shutting me off in your heads while you plan on exactly who you're going to tell and when you get to tell them.
Here's a hint: Don't tell the boy who tells me everything that you've told all these peoplhe my secrets. He won't keep his mouth shut, he loves me too much. Get smarter with your discrepancies.

Home's not so good but when is it ever? That's all I'm saying about that because who knows what "Radio" is reading this?

Yeah, I'm pissed.

I'm mad at me for thinking I'm the only one. I'm mad because I've lost so many things that are irreplacable and I'm not talking about the fire. I'm mad because I'm so selfish, why can't I be better? And I dream of escaping and living alone for the rest of my life somewhere, because it's just too goddamn much work to be a member of society. And then I feel like such a prick because there are people in the world who can't even imagine being in my position.

Colin's coming to see me this weekend.
Just so everyone knows, I'm not telling any of you anything. You wanna know why? Because this actually means something. This could be the biggest thing ever for me and you'll all cheapen it by gossiping some more about it.
"I wonder if she slept with him, too, because I hear she's easy like that."
"I wonder if she made him up to make herself feel better?"
"I wonder if he's hot?"

Anything, anything, to keep yourselves knee-deep in drama. And hell, if you can't find anything to talk to, go ahead and make it the fuck up.

I'm so, so hurt. I'm through with trusting people. All of them.