Waiting for something to come along.

FIVE OH SIX PM LIFE.
I'm hanging out in SUB like a loser. Waiting for people to meet me. But, as always, I have ulterior motives. Because, you guessed it, I suck.
He's going to be so upset when he finds out.
There's no time like the present.
I'm falling into something I shouldn't be.
This is what everyone warned me about.
Do I always do the opposite of what people tell me? Is there a real reason?
Or am I just insolent?
Maybe I like the attention.
I want to give someone a lot of money. Just because.
Someone who needs it, not someone who thinks they do.
Even if they buy alcohol or drugs with it- I probably would have too, right?
Let them have a chance at drowning whatever it is inside themselves that makes them hate their own minds.
I get to do it all the time, whether it be drinking, chain smoking menthol cigarettes or chasing some unfathomable prospect until he becomes fathomable.
Writing doesn't mean anything.
Everyone always told me that I had talent.
I think everyone lied.
No one can judge what everyone else will like, but it's not what I'm putting out.
All I am is pretention. Lies. Desperation.
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOOR. SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW. WHEN WE'RE ON THE PHONE AND YOU TALK REAL SLOW CAUSE IT'S LATE AND YOUR MOMMA DOESN'T KNOW. OUR SONG IS THE WAY YOU LAUGH. THE FIRST DATE. "MAN I DIDN'T KISS HER AND I SHOULD HAVE."