love is not like anything;;especially a fucking knife.

I don't know how to convey this sense of absolute loss and alone.
I don't know how to explain to the random world of people that might or might not ever read this that I have never, ever felt like this in my life.
I don't know how to tell you that I might be falling in love with you.
I don't know how to write down that this weekend was the most incredible, painful experience of my life to date, how I could have laid and listened to you telling me stupid stories for the rest of my life, how we spent hours and hours together and it felt like laughing for five seconds.
I don't know how to explain what I mean when I say that this weekend, you were unstoppable.
I don't know how come nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes sense about you in my mind and yet you're all I can think about. I don't understand. This isn't love. This isn't hate. This isn't indifference. This isn't infatuation. What the fuck is this?
This is you and this is me and this is you being all I can think about when I try to sleep at night, this is you killing me with every second that passes that I don't hear from you.
Why don't you understand?