holding on tight. don't give away the end.

In light of recent events, I'm really freaked out.
I feel betrayed and I keep telling everyone that I'm totally fine. But I'm not.
We actually had entire conversations about this exact situation.
I TOLD him that he scared me when he got drunk/violent. I told him.
And what does he do?
Gets drunk and violent.
The bruises are fading.
The thought that he could do that isn't.
"It wasn't me. Please understand that I could never consciously decide to do that to you."
BUT YOU DID.
It was you, you were just drunk. Once we talked for hours on the phone and you swore to me that you could never do that.
Now you swear that you don't remember; and ask me am I sure that it really happened?
I have the bruises on my shoulders and chest.
Do I need more?
Everyone who says they love me ends up doing this. But it's okay.
This way at least I know what to expect.