When you're gone.

"Your university friends know who you are- but your high school friends know why."

Is it terrible that lately I've been wishing that weren't the case? A very smart person said to me that they wouldn't figure me for having the friends that I do, based on a first impression.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. Part of me really wants to know who he thinks I should or would be friends with. I wonder if he meant it in a positive or negative way. Mostly though I'm wondering why he hasn't talked to me all day and I wonder if he knows.
How many of you know?
How many times have I kept a deadly secret?

I wonder if he'd care if my wrists were gaping and torn. If I were fifty pounds heavier. If I had short hair. If I had brown eyes. If I drove a motorcycle, if I were blonde, if I were younger, if I were clingy, if I watched soap operas, if I loved chocolate. If I worked at a gas station, if I lived in a fourplex, if I hunted foxes, rode merry go rounds and watched Mary Poppins obsessively.

Would it change anydamnthing?