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I guess it was bound to happen.
The sudden awkward silence when I show up. The obvious looks traded across the tables.
I mean, I deserve everything I'm getting.
But I don't think that I can go back from this one. I tried to talk about it and I got blown off. So what's the point?
I've already given up on school, we all know I wasn't cut out for it anyways. Sorry I'm not ambitious like the rest of you.
I've given up on the idea of family.
I've given up on the idea that I can fix myself and change my fuckups, although I guess it took everyone else a lot less time to recognize my true potential as a failure.
I don't really feel sorry for myself, more like... I should be more upset about everything, but I'm not. I'm just this weird version of numb that doesn't entirely make sense but, you know, does in my mind.
And what you think is important; but it becomes the most important when you realize that what you think is the only thing you'll get. Because no one else thinks about you.

It's okay. I've accepted it. I like being alone, anyways. I'll fail out of the semester, I'll get a third job, I'll just breeze through life the way I always have, and things will be okay.

It's okay, I made myself a promise. Too bad I'm known for breaking them.