in a song that no one knows.
I love how I have this blog to confess EVERYTHING to, because no one ever reads this one.
Confessions:
-I'm a whore & I don't care.
-I'm falling for him & the second he finds out he'll drop me. This is really bad.
-I'm most likely going to fail out this year.
-Everyone I care about is leaving me or else I'm leaving them.
I guess I should tackle them one at a time.
I allow myself to get wasted and then taken home. And while I don't always go the distance required to get myself in trouble, it's always enough. Always enough. It's not a good thing.
Him? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Sean, if you're reading this, you'll know how unbelievably FUCKED over I am. Help me!
Seriously. This guy wrote the book on getting laid and playing girls. And he's just using me. I know he is, and I know he doesn't care about me at all- but he still kisses me goodbye every time I leave. He keeps me around, and will continue to keep me around until I stop being useful. And then? Then what? He breaks my heart? It's not like it matters. My god, even if he did care he's five years older than me. I'm heading towards heartache again.
I can't even face the rest.
2 Comments:
kate...
i love you, & i hope you know that. reading your confessions made me sad.
-you're not a whore. you're a slut, but who isn't a slut deep down inside? you just show that part off. guys can be promiscuous and it's acceptable, but if a girl wants some action, then she's a whore...? on the count of three, everyone say double standard.... and for the record, i don't care either. you're kate & i love you if you're a whore or a slut or neither.
-we know boys are bad. do we ever. we also know how hard it is to let the wrong boy go. find someone who's perfect for you kay? Find someone who will treat you right, cuz fuck, you deserve it
-failing out... oh kate. if school isn't for you, then who the fuck cares? go do something that you love, that you enjoy, that makes you happy. write kate, write your little heart out, and i'll read every word of it and cry because my friend is such a talented writer and she can put into words every thing i've ever felt before. stop doing what your friends want you to do, or what your parents want you to do... do what you want to do.
-kate, i care about you, and i bet you care about me (<3) and im not leaving you and you're not leaving me. so that's not everyone...
10:20 PM
I would give you more advice but Michelle is damn smart, she is right on just about every account.
Primarily the double standard thing - don't let that bother you. It's not important.
I panicked about failing out every year, this year more than any other - yet I am still relaxed. The main thing to do is just either do something about it, or don't. Either way your mentality will affect it. Relax, take it easy, find joy in your friends and people around you - stop worrying about the useless shit. You're not dumb, you're just dramatic - slow it down, have some fun, and just be you - whatever you decide that may be.
And don't let other people’s plans worry you, if these people are worth their salt they won't leave your life completely. Don't stress girl just ride the walrus through this.
12:28 AM
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